Is honesty the best policy in a relationship?

Let me answer the question in the title… Honesty is not even close to being the best policy in a relationship. Little boys need to lie all the time, but real men realize that anything in excess is a disaster and that includes telling the truth. Not every question should be answered honestly, because people often ask questions that they really don’t want an honest answer to. The concept that absolute honesty is the key to a relationship is madness.


But you may wonder what questions to answer honestly. OK, here are a few ideas about what questions we should respond to honestly…


Be honest about questions that may leave your partner embarrassed if you lie.

Your partner already has an idea if they look fat, or if the new hair color or style doesn’t really fit them. So if they ask a style/fashion related question, then by all means tell the truth. Spare them the embarrassment and potential ridicule of appearing in public looking like a huge “fashion  don’t”. Be honest without being cruel. Use “soft” language, instead of “that looks horrible”, say ” something else would highlight your assets better”. Lying here, will come back to haunt you when they discover you’re the only one who shared a positive comment


Be honest to questions that will boost their confidence

When she asks if you think some other girl is pretty, be honest. Say “Hell yes.”

Why be honest? Because she already knows you think the other woman is attractive. If you lie, she’ll come back with “I’m secure enough to hear if you find someone pretty… blah blah blah.” Telling her that other women are always attractive reminds her that you’re not some blind, “coochie-whipped”  puppy. It reminds her that you’re a man with options and you choose to be with her because she keeps her game up and her body good.


Honestly answer questions that attempt to remove your spine as a man

If you’re asked to skip “boys night out” so you can attend a baby shower, gently remind her that she can have a great time without you there. (go ahead and curse me, I can handle it). What about skipping your basketball/football game so that you can go shopping for her wardrobe? The answer is the same. These types of questions are laid out to slowly emasculate and dethrone you as a man with a mind of his own. Complying to these requests are steps in building what can and cannot be expected of you. You draw the line and remind her that you’re a man. Compliance is strongly recommended, but only in select cases. Compliance to these requests must be the exception and not the rule.



Those who recommend complete honesty live in a fantasy land.

I read online that “Absolute truth is an absolute disaster”. I believe it.

Remember that only little boys lie all the time; REAL MEN hoist the banner of honesty high and let it fly from the castle of their heart.




Disclaimer: I am not recommending lying consistently. I further advise that you do only those things that you can afford to be honest about in a relationship. If you’re going to do something that you would have to lie to your partner about, I STRONGLY SUGGEST THAT YOU DON’T DO IT!!!


Published by Garth O. Williams

A seasoned journalist and communications practitioner; professional MC/moderator, voice-over actor and entrepreneur.

One thought on “Is honesty the best policy in a relationship?

  1. Garth, I strongly agree with you about the part where you say the man should be honest and not go to the baby shower and do dem girly things.

    Its something that really pisses me off. I will plan a girls nite out and here is one of my gf’s walking with her husband/boyfriend behind her. the poor man feel totally uncomfy and she dont care. i care, cuz a girls nite out is a girls nite out. if i wanted men i wud say lets have a gathering!! kmt.

    u need to write about that and make the ladies know that MEN DO NOT BELONG AT BABY SHOWERS!!! NOR FEMALE SHOPPING TIMES unless they both out on the town shopping together for stuff for BOTH of them!!!!!! NOR IN GIRLS NITE OUTS!!!!!!

    I am a female, but I would not even think about doing that to my man. Well I know am different from most females, I am not a normal female in terms of thoughts and actions, but I think they still need to be more like me sometimes. It will help their relationship alot!


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