Joe Grind Notes


This little blog will deal with some ideas for all to consider, but it’s primarily aimed at those men who play the role of “Joseph P. Grind” aka “Joe Grind”. As always, let me publicly declare that I do not endorse cheating/infidelity of any sort.

Now onto the meat of the matter; if you’re doing something then might as well do it right and with your best abilities. Having played the Joe Grind role in a former life I thought it would be good to advise those men who are currently engaged in the role or considering such an engagement.

ALWAYS use a condom
This point needs no explanation, but here goes anyway. Condoms are effective means of protection from Sexually Transmitted Infections and preventing pregnancy. Further, it lessens the likely hood of her freezing your sperm and using it for god-only-knows-what (watch NCIS or Law & Order SVU).

Bone her like you own her
Handle your business like a boss, word of mouth is the best recommendation. There are lotsa women out there who keep it real and just want to have a good time; some don’t even mind bangin the same man as their friend as long as he’s great in bed.

Avoid outdoing the hubby/boyfriend
If you stroke her better than her hubby/boyfriend you run the risk of her becoming more attached to you than you want. This point is almost the opposite of the 1above, but you have to carefully determine how well you put it on – if she seems like the type to get clingy then she’s not the candidate for that mind-blowing, Oh God I’m in heaven kinda sex

Use a pseudo name
Don’t let her save your contact details in any of her devices or email under your real (Gov’t) name. Your identity must be protected at all costs. For all intents and purposes you’re a phantom, a figment of all imagination – in essence you don’t exist, so keep it that way.

Watch the ‘paper trail’
No matter how much she’s into you or vice versa DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT keep text messages, call records, videos, pics and incriminating emails on any device of yours. Ensure she removes any/every incriminating evidence from anything electronic she owns, especially if the hubby/boyfriend has access to them. Further ask her to be careful when using a credit card on any outings involving you.


No sleepovers
Hey, wake yo ass up and leave. There’s absolutely no need for you to sleep by her place. What if hubby/boyfren pops a surprise visit? What if 1 of his associates is on duty watching the location without her knowledge? Do your do and leave… She doesn’t need to sleep over by you either; her vehicle could be trailed or worse have a tracking device. Sure I might sound extreme, but anything is possible in these technologically advanced times. Best bet is to meet at random locations using ‘unmarked’ vehicles.

No need for jealousy
If she sleeps with another man, don’t get mad or jealous. Wake up bro. she’s OPP(Other People’s Property) NOT YOURS. It’s hers to share with as many as she desires, so if you don’t like that she sleeps with some other Joe Grind then stop bangin her and find another hole to water.

Client confidentiality pt 1
As a Joe Grind it is likely that you’ll be servicing multiple accounts. No client needs to know the identitiy of the others; in fact, no client even needs to know if there are ‘others’ like her. Women don’t like being compared so just shut up about any other experiences you may be having. If, however, you’ve got clients who are interested in a ‘group experience’ then by all means go right ahead to ‘mix and match’.

Client confidentiality pt2
No one needs to know who you’re bangin. The world is small and you don’t know who to trust. The last thing you want is for hubby/boyfren to get word about you being the man up in his woman. Ask her to keep your identity secret from her frenz and relatives as well. As Bob Marley once said, “only your friend knows your secret, so only s/he could reveal it…”

Good manners
In your mind she might be a slut, in fact, she may even think of herself like that but she still deserves to be treated with respect. Be courteous, open her doors, pull her chairs and just be an all round gentleman, she deserves it. Make her feel special.

NEVER fall
Your heart is not to get involved. Be dominated by logic and not emotion. Here’s the simple reason, it’s a matter of trust. Bear this in mind, if she’s cheating on him with you, there’s nothing to stop her from cheating on you with someone else if you both decide to commit to each other. Ok, ok, people can change; so she could become a new person with no intention of cheating on her partner in future, but I don’t think it’s a likely occurrence.

Calling it quits
This is no fairytale, so it’s not meant to last forever and surely not “happily ever after” either.  All things must come to an end, so be wise and know when to call it quits. You can’t bone her forever –truth is, the longer you keep it up, the more likely it s that both your covers will get blown. A smart man knows when to pull out, pardon the pun.

So there you have it, 12 ideas to bear in mind when you’re role playing as Joseph P. Grind.

I welcome your feedback.

Published by Garth O. Williams

A seasoned journalist and communications practitioner; professional MC/moderator, voice-over actor and entrepreneur.

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